THAT SHIT IS PLAIN FALSE!!!!

My daddy was and still is a visceral component to my life. As a child he showed me how a man respects his woman and learning the sensitivity needed to be successful as a mate. He not only is a great example that I lean towards in choosing men in my personal life. He is also my friend, a person of sound reasoning in a world that sometime confuses me. He offers his ear and support in any way he can without ever making me feel ashamed.

Although we have not always agreed about the decision we make, he stills remains by my side as a father, a man who would never leave my side. My father will always have a special place with me. Like all those special daddy / daughter relationships have. He is that big guy who will always have special treatment whenever he's home.

Love my Daddy - simply put!

We all have them right? Well, there's something special about the memories of our first love. If you ever happen to read this, I'd like you to know that what was gained with you is my understanding of patience. How good things always come to those who wait. That good thing at the time was you. I can remember vividly how we would talk until the sunrise. . . How gentle you were with me and my young thoughts about the world.

Although we were both a lot younger and naïve in many ways. You helped me understand who I was growing into. What type of man I really wanted to have in my life. You also showed me the intensity of intimacy that has left its mark on me since we were a thing.

There was a easiness with you I have found hard to find in men post us. Most of all, I learned the importance of doing right by my partner. The lesson treating the one who has your heart in a way which has no compare to others. I don't want to loose anyone else because of that again.  

I was blessed to have you in my life.

This is where I have to pause for a moment and drop me head. LOL I could go on a wild tangent about a whole lot of things. . . Instead I will explain to you the lessons I've learned because of you. Firstly I would like to say that during my experience with you, I was in a period of my life where there wasn't enough love in the world that would make me want to love either in a way which would promote any real outcomes. I believe that my emotionally unavailable self at the time, lead to much of what we experienced.

What was the most important lesson for me is that men are just as fragile as women in their own respects. Most often we women don't recognize the frailty of men and their emotions in a way that causes behaviors or the lack of others.

Men feel and think in ways which are similar to women but are drastically unlike use because of gender. We mistreat and abuse the men in our lives (in this case the fathers of our children), because we lack the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and sentiments you have.  

You've also taught me that even though we mean well and say things that at the time are in our hearts, when we incorporate the emotions of hurt or trauma - these things can go out the window. You toughened me up too! I learned that the quality of the lives of our children can't solely rest on whether or not your around.

I also learned a great deal about regret, how it can overwhelm us if we allow. You have given me the strength to finish the things I start. To be present and enjoy the children (chittlers) we've created together. Above all to have a deep respect for others and the value of their life; no matter how brief we have them in ours.

You brotha's have a special spot right now. I can't really explain how essential you are to me (not to mention how I really don't use that word to describe anyone)! My older brothers and cousins who always remind me that men will take advantage if I allow it. That the quality of the men I surround myself with is determined the second I say "yes".

Remind me of how beautiful I am - even if I don't always see it. That beauty isn't just about how fine you are, it's about my mind and what I bring to the table to be just a viable as the partner I'm looking for.

You've also help me be comfortable with who I am today, reassuring me with kind words and gestures.

For the men of my intimate life, you've allowed me to blossom; to shine when the lights are low. Allow me to use you as my muse and reap the benefits of my hard work.

Most importantly in this case is you have been patient and understanding in a world that's full of stagnation. Listen to me share my thoughts and aspirations. Calmed me when I'm feeling low or dumbed out. Also allowed my glimpses into you - your thoughts and emotions. Shared yourself in a way with me that has left and impact on me that will forever be as much me as they are of you.

If I could say. . . By being you authentically, you've help me grow into what I am today. There are no words to express the gratitude I have for you. The honor I have that you have chosen me to share these pieces of you.

And I am writing all these things to say, that in my personal experience ( and in those of many women I know), you deserve the women of your dreams. That all your hard work doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. That sometimes us women have to be the ones to do our own internal work to see the value in you. You've always had value, and you should never let anyone determine your worth - not even us!

The respect I have for our men goes unchalleneged, every time I meet one of you great, great men. You are the gold we are always digging for, the diamonds in the coal mine we seek. I can't put into words the value that has been added by men, the amount of effort you have blessed me with has only added to currency I have deposited in you.

I just want you to know, in my book you're worthy! No one could ever change that.
P.S.
I love YOU all! xoxo

photo by Taylor Grote