So in keeping with a post I made previously. I would like to sit you down if I could? As a woman and as an earth sign (Taurus/Beaver/9 & 7), I struggle with the ordeal of my lower self. And if you're a woman like I who revels in her sexuality, it becomes hard to express with integrity or to express without compromise.

Further, sexual expression with integrity is a skill that is acquired rather than the believed innate. Your teachings as a child are a testament to that. I've always asked myself if there was a place for a woman like myself within the ranks of the "Conscious Community". I found myself to be an outlier, not much a part of its function and more so it's ideal. What occurred to me recently is that I don't have to carry the burden, or the desire to fit into place like a puzzle. But I just rather 'love and let be', it has been the greatest experience I have ever journeyed thus far in my life. I am no longer wondering as to my place, I am certain that we all have our own place in this world. It is us as individuals that have to make the effort to find out where that is! In my post "A Sufferable Contempt in Love", what was most pivotal was that we have yet to discover and uncover our deepest desires. What was astounding was my belief that I have felt sex in its most intense forms. Yet our subconscious has a way of telling on us. You have to listen closely or you may miss the message.

That dream was by all accounts very real for me. I could smell him, taste him, hear him, feel him, and most importantly - I could see him. There was no mistaking what my mind carved out as the ultimate man for me. This man was evoking something that was tucked neatly away somewhere I hadn't even know existed. He was, "looking for A me I had yet to give". Most of us women are under the impression that just doing 'this', or being down for 'that' equates to experiencing the deepest sex you could ever know. And most of us are greatly mistaken.

Earlier this evening I was watching a live stream on Facebook called "Datequette", the topic was about courting and what the best practices were from the panels standpoint. Somewhere in me ranting as I always do, I happened to say... "emotional and sexual trust are two completely different things"
The response was a bit mild for the most part, but the one male of the panel knew exactly what I was getting at. I want to take a moment and elaborate... We as women are like a one-way mirror, and what one-way by that is, we mirror our emotional trust sexually - and we also mirror our distrust sexually. For example we may be with someone who we truly enjoy in all aspects, with this man we are more open and receptive to sex. We experience intimacy in an emotional and physical way. With another man whom we care for, yet we have distrusts due to prior relationships or other related causes. With this man we mirror our distrust sexually, and we both know what types of sexual hangups this can cause.

Us women need to dig deep to find these issues and begin with our personal healing process. But most importantly, it takes a man to reconnect these severed circuits. Then and ONLY then will we experience that deepest sex. There can be no inhibitions, or we will continue on a path of never unveiling our sexual known unknowns. Men are the LAST STEP, peeling back the veil to our cloudy mirror - so we can see on another clearly, unfiltered - straight with no chaser.

"Energy is a force that can be felt yet never seen."  -Angelica Diallo 

So What Do We Do With Our Desire?

To be frank... I have a serious sexual explicitness, which is mostly tame. There has been only one person I've ever shared that side of me with. And to circle back to the "Consciously Black Community", I don't think they wholly are prepared for women such as me, nor accepting... But these things are as they are, and one most not confuse the commune with the solidarity of merely one alone.

Your sexuality is strictly between YOU and your PARTNER! Full stop there... What sits between your legs is the GREATEST OFFERING (aside from birth) you could ever give. You solely choose the terms on which you give it, and exactly what you expect to receive in return. If you ever aim to satisfy yourself completely, you choose the terms completely.
If you expect for him to make you orgasm, this is a requirement which makes him dive deep into exploring your entirety as well as he learning to master his own nature.
In this particular case, 'your output will be your input'.😉

"Doing It" with Integrity

If you listen to men, they'll tell you that women should always give their best in the bedroom at ALL times. Let me tell you they lie! Men are in a constant search to experience the best sexual stimulation from whatever woman they can find. Imagine if you could convince every partner you ever had to put on the works for you everytime.... Wouldn't you always expect it - and that method actually worked? Of course you would. When its done, there is nothing more left to desire from that partner. Not sexually anyway.
As woman not everyone deserves for you to put your cape on and crash helmet. "They just ain special enuff for that honey!" Even better your LOVE GEM should never be given to just ole anyone period. That being said, when you find that right man let him know that sexually your require X-Y and Z. You place the owness on him to make sure he's meeting your needs. But don't mistake that that's all you have to do! On your end, it's your duty to be sexually capable of the same output to your input. These things also require a certain amount of fortitude, and exploration of your intended.