THAT SHIT IS PLAIN FALSE!!!!

My daddy was and still is a visceral component to my life. As a child he showed me how a man respects his woman and learning the sensitivity needed to be successful as a mate. He not only is a great example that I lean towards in choosing men in my personal life. He is also my friend, a person of sound reasoning in a world that sometime confuses me. He offers his ear and support in any way he can without ever making me feel ashamed.

Although we have not always agreed about the decision we make, he stills remains by my side as a father, a man who would never leave my side. My father will always have a special place with me. Like all those special daddy / daughter relationships have. He is that big guy who will always have special treatment whenever he's home.

Love my Daddy - simply put!

We all have them right? Well, there's something special about the memories of our first love. If you ever happen to read this, I'd like you to know that what was gained with you is my understanding of patience. How good things always come to those who wait. That good thing at the time was you. I can remember vividly how we would talk until the sunrise. . . How gentle you were with me and my young thoughts about the world.

Although we were both a lot younger and naïve in many ways. You helped me understand who I was growing into. What type of man I really wanted to have in my life. You also showed me the intensity of intimacy that has left its mark on me since we were a thing.

There was a easiness with you I have found hard to find in men post us. Most of all, I learned the importance of doing right by my partner. The lesson treating the one who has your heart in a way which has no compare to others. I don't want to loose anyone else because of that again.  

I was blessed to have you in my life.

This is where I have to pause for a moment and drop me head. LOL I could go on a wild tangent about a whole lot of things. . . Instead I will explain to you the lessons I've learned because of you. Firstly I would like to say that during my experience with you, I was in a period of my life where there wasn't enough love in the world that would make me want to love either in a way which would promote any real outcomes. I believe that my emotionally unavailable self at the time, lead to much of what we experienced.

What was the most important lesson for me is that men are just as fragile as women in their own respects. Most often we women don't recognize the frailty of men and their emotions in a way that causes behaviors or the lack of others.

Men feel and think in ways which are similar to women but are drastically unlike use because of gender. We mistreat and abuse the men in our lives (in this case the fathers of our children), because we lack the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and sentiments you have.  

You've also taught me that even though we mean well and say things that at the time are in our hearts, when we incorporate the emotions of hurt or trauma - these things can go out the window. You toughened me up too! I learned that the quality of the lives of our children can't solely rest on whether or not your around.

I also learned a great deal about regret, how it can overwhelm us if we allow. You have given me the strength to finish the things I start. To be present and enjoy the children (chittlers) we've created together. Above all to have a deep respect for others and the value of their life; no matter how brief we have them in ours.

You brotha's have a special spot right now. I can't really explain how essential you are to me (not to mention how I really don't use that word to describe anyone)! My older brothers and cousins who always remind me that men will take advantage if I allow it. That the quality of the men I surround myself with is determined the second I say "yes".

Remind me of how beautiful I am - even if I don't always see it. That beauty isn't just about how fine you are, it's about my mind and what I bring to the table to be just a viable as the partner I'm looking for.

You've also help me be comfortable with who I am today, reassuring me with kind words and gestures.

For the men of my intimate life, you've allowed me to blossom; to shine when the lights are low. Allow me to use you as my muse and reap the benefits of my hard work.

Most importantly in this case is you have been patient and understanding in a world that's full of stagnation. Listen to me share my thoughts and aspirations. Calmed me when I'm feeling low or dumbed out. Also allowed my glimpses into you - your thoughts and emotions. Shared yourself in a way with me that has left and impact on me that will forever be as much me as they are of you.

If I could say. . . By being you authentically, you've help me grow into what I am today. There are no words to express the gratitude I have for you. The honor I have that you have chosen me to share these pieces of you.

And I am writing all these things to say, that in my personal experience ( and in those of many women I know), you deserve the women of your dreams. That all your hard work doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. That sometimes us women have to be the ones to do our own internal work to see the value in you. You've always had value, and you should never let anyone determine your worth - not even us!

The respect I have for our men goes unchalleneged, every time I meet one of you great, great men. You are the gold we are always digging for, the diamonds in the coal mine we seek. I can't put into words the value that has been added by men, the amount of effort you have blessed me with has only added to currency I have deposited in you.

I just want you to know, in my book you're worthy! No one could ever change that.
P.S.
I love YOU all! xoxo

photo by Taylor Grote

There are endless search results warning people to be careful of who and how we engage in intimate physical acts. As there is real possibility negative energy change be exchanged between one person to another. And when I see posts like this I sigh and wonder how did we get this far?

How did we become so afraid of sex?

This, for me, all came about with a chance meeting of my first partner - like my VERY first. As we caught up on life and how things had been since we were a thing. . . My thoughts darted back to then, when we were. What I learned from him and I's experience is that physical intimacy is one, an energetic exchange, and two a state of being. A place you go when you want to experience a moment with the one you choose.

Now... as a disclaimer, not everyone is good for you - both physically and mentally.

However, sex has not been a low sort of experience since the emergence of consciousness. During intimacy, states of being can be had where in no other times can be. Intimacy with the right partner is a experience that transcends time and rationale.

In a post I wrote some time ago, " Sex Inspired Love". Intimacy is an exchange, even when one has nothing to offer. If you are full ( in terms of mind and spirit ), there is nothing another can take from you. Unless you choose it to be so! If you are full of love, strength, compassion, sincerity and all that makes you happy as a individual, there isn't a single experience that can deplete you.

If we believe that one plus one equals two, then we can apply the same math to intimacy. One plus zero, still equals one. Now this may be a over simplification of it, but if you are in excess of positive energy there is always reason to believe that you will never be in lack. Or in a situation where intimacy leaves you void or in a 'negative'.

In reality, even if we encounter people who may be energetically low (low vibrations). They are not vampiric in the sense we think, more so, in terms of fulfilling a emotional desire. Competence, security, loneliness, and such. These emotional lacks aren't in a hunger to suck away at your energy to fill it's quench, but in to fill something only that moment can give. So if you are solid in who and what you are, your partner's state cannot effect you.

So getting back this conversation. . . I remembered my experience with him was one of exploration. Every second was a meeting of the minds to understand one another. Me experiencing who I was, and who I was with him, and in all honesty there are moments of insecurity - fear of not being adequate. He being more experienced than I, was able to be present and ease my thoughts.

And like I said before, people will tell you sex will drain you if you're with the wrong person.

What I am saying that the above statement is only true when you are just as broken and unaware of self as they are. Intimacy is a root vibration because it is influenced by the core of who you are. It's expression is a reflection of your consciousness. In intimacy we give and take for pleasure and expansion of the other. Even specific acts are done for the enjoyment of pleasing our partner.

You know the ones I'm talking about!

So in my very small and basic understanding of life and its functions, intimacy is a direct mirroring of who you are in a physical representation. And other can only give you the depth of intimacy according to the depth of themselves - how they see themselves.

All that they have acquired in life is the circumference of hat they can offer to you. . .

So, always be safe! until next time.

"Ascend in LOVE, never fall for it!"

So, jumping right in, two-thirds of the way through the discussion, something he said reminded me of a very vague but intriguing statement he made before about a “Stalker”. Me being the nosey creature I am inquired he go into further detail about the statement! As he divulged the deets about this woman, we eventually swayed into preferences and wants on our “those we can date and those we can’t” lists. I chuckled repeatedly in agreement to much he had to say. (Honestly I was in hysterics!)

I explained that when he and I first spoke, I was under the impression – more of the assumption that he was in this awe-inspiring, jealousy inducing relationship. I was dead set that he was in a relationship that was so full of love that it would make me want to vomit envy😤🤒😖! SERIOUSLY…

Surprisingly he stated that with a solemn voice, “the sistas I like don’t like me.” Then, with a calm tone he says,

It was a synapse moment later that my mind traveled to a post I had made about conscious men, the pretext being that many of the “Conscious Women” I speak with have trouble finding a conscious man to date from wherever they are in the world. Then my brain jumped to my Spirit Brother, Vanguard whom consistently speaks to me about the insecurities he finds in the women he dates, and also he too doesn’t exclusively date conscious women and finds them more of an anomaly than a norm. Both of these brothers are secure in their identity, both intellectuals and open-minded.

This morning my first thoughts were of the implications it has to us conscious folk as a collective, and us as individuals. What I took away was that love and affection, and the desire of these things has NO prerequisites. That we are beings that desire to share and experience life alongside someone is a mode that doesn’t necessarily mean that we should only look for a certain ideal, or someone who only shares a certain sentiment for certain concepts and philosophy. That we can still keep our personal integrity and values whilst still sharing our journey alongside someone who doesn’t have to fit and exact bill.

This notion was something that years ago I understand, yet I took it and obscured it to only fit within certain parameters. I recognized that I had essentially sabotaged my own field of eligible men only because HE WASN’T CONSCIOUS. I forgot that there are many eligible men that share and agree to many in the concepts I hold for myself, all without being “conscious”.

On my Google+ profile a while back I had posted a meme that stated, “Women have been wearing weaves since Egypt; natural hair is not synonymous with consciousness.” What I didn’t gather at that time were the correlations between my brother’s statement and my meme. My understanding that a persons outer exterior has no bearing on their level of intellect or capacity of being a good match for you. Although many of us glorify natural as an indicator of, the opposite may or may not be true. And as well thinking beings, we should all take into account that ones presentation is not always indicative of whether or not they are in alignment with core values that would make them capable of loving us in the ways we need.

Oh… the lessons your learn when you ask someone about their stalker!😂 Or maybe I’m one of those geeky types that finds meaning in anything someone says?! Although I’d bet the latter maybe more true, I think it’s important that we don’t “marry ourselves to philosophy” 😉 in such a way that we hinder our own quest for finding a partner. We dive so deeply into theories-n-such that we narrow our view, and our field of play.

So the moral of this story is…                 DON’T BE SUCH A TIGHT ASS!

None of use are the object of perfect, you’re only journeying on a path to find personal perfection at being good at being you.

And someone’s gonna love you for it, plain and simple!😍