First time I heard that phrase I was watching Minister Enqi speak about the aspect of how energy evolves from one thing and transmutes into another. Indeed this is a basic principle for most to understand. But how are we to understand this in a more practical way? Not to say the Enqi didn’t do a brilliant job with elaborating on this concept. But I know for some of us like myself, it has to be put in a practical, practice-able* format.
So what does this mean? Sex pre-dates Love? In almost everything that we do, sexually energy is what drives us forward. Whether it be the clothing we wear, cars we buy, places we frequent are all driven by a sexual energy. This energy asserts us in one position or another, showing our status or showing our plumage to an interested mate. This energy allows us to lock eyes, introduce ourselves, make small talk and exchange information. Then followed by dating and interfacing, etc etc. All this comes to a head when we participate in sex; as a woman in the black community, I find it hard to not have an expectation of what sex will be like with a conscious man. I’d imagine that the energy would be something distinct and fully be consuming (body, mind, and spirit).
This said everything that we do has a simple base of sexual exchange/currency. Again, the clothing we buy, cars we drive, places we stay even the fragrances we wear are all forms of materialistic attraction. None of these things are inherently bad, we should recognize them for what they are and have a simple understanding and relationship with these things. We do not have to accept things as long as we can have a common understanding, nothing more.
My view on sexuality is defined by my self-awareness, my personal consciousness. How I view the world and see myself in it. Like exploratory surgery, my desires are to find new and inventive ways to please my partner, physically and spiritually, to envelope myself in his energy and take a command only if momentarily, of (all) his senses.
These things drive my sensual self to become more aware of my partner, to have an understanding of every detail, including his breath. Which draws me closer to him, to love him more – bit by bit. This coupled with our shared experience creates a bond that notedly creates the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. But these things my male readership would already know (and have put into practice). Countlessly, vast like drops in the ocean we all have our way of expression and affection as women and our understanding is also expansive in this way. We are many and the many misguided by what defines a true partnership between two souls. As we are mostly taught that our lives only exist for the end result of marriage as if we are no longer valued after this (today’s social status quo).
We have been let down and let ourselves down to a point, only allowed to think in a certain scope of knowledge or acceptable thought. While women like myself live on the outskirts and theorize on what is and isn’t acceptable and how we should respond to information and people. We the collective are only explicit as our partners' acceptance of our sexuality. We are a collage of cultivation, trust, reassurance, fear, anger, passion, submission, dominant, dependent, independent, lustful, prideful, engaging and guarded. All attributes of our existence and how we view ourselves.
With this in mind, and both genders knowing a certain part of our sexual existence, then what do we say about our bonding? How effective are we in trust and communication with ALL partners? Are we honest and forthright at all times? Do we hide in the shadows of insecurity or lurk around our desires until our partner brings them up? OUR SEXUALITY MIRRORS OUR DEMONSTRATION OF RELATIONSHIPS. If you can understand how the Enqi’s basic principle, sex pre-dates love, then we will all be better off in understanding how to be more successful in relationships and building.
Predating Love
Sex itself is a mechanism, pretext and end result excluded. I think we can all agree that sex is merely and importantly and act. Or action if you please. What should concern us is our intentions and utility of sex. If we were to glance at some tribes in Africa; Love is a concept they just don’t understand or they may see no use for it… This in mind, we should recognize that sex has always been around. Before love, before marriage, and definitely before dating as we know it today.
Please don’t confuse my meaning, I am not implying that we should actively participate in reckless sexual behaviors. What I am saying is that before Love, there was SEX, our human history is a testament to such.
Sex Inspired Love
I would argue that it did and does(coupled with our social and prehistoric modes of survival), in our sexually stimulated and overloaded minds we conjured up this feeling we regard as love. The need and want to be close, to share joy and hardship. Somewhere in the midst of overwhelming pleasure. I find that love, is like people, and like people - love is like a flower.
With its beginning budding and reaching endlessly towards the sun. Then, flowering and opening up to share it’s pollen and nectar via the bee (SEX) with the flowers around it. In hopes to further its particular traits for the next season. Finally, the flower withers and begins to dry and brittle. Then finally dropping its seed on the soil, so these seeds have the best chance of survival for the coming season… This to me sounds much like a relationship, yet it’s all based on PROCREATION via SEX. So let’s all do our best to redefine or explicitly understand that sex does “pre-date love”. And have respects for how it drives us to come together, and the remnants left behind; hold us together.
